Thinking of You
by Drunken Shinigami
Summary: Four one shots, four yaoi pairings. Sometimes my thoughts will drift to you, even for a moment. But you'll always be on my mind, no matter how hard I try to forget.
1. Yuki x Kouji

**Thinking of You**

By Drunken Shinigami

Yuki x Kouji  


Stupid brother. Stupid dumb look. Stupid easygoing attitude.

My eyes glared at the dark, ugly ceiling of the current room I was lieing in, trying to sort out how I got here. My head throbbed near my temple and my arms felt as heavy as lead, lighly covered by the thin white sheets that were tucked in around my body. My eyes flicked upward again to stare into the darkness; I felt irritated. I hated it when I was pathetic and useless like this.

Just as pathetic and useless as Kouji.

I scrunched up my nose to the very thought of him, finding it brought pain to my forehead. Nevertheless, I kept up my train of thought… him as his dumb smile and casual blow-off phrases to me. Never sentences, 'cause my hands would always be at his throat or whipping across his face in rhythmic patterns before any sentence could leave his mouth.

I always knew what he would say, anyway.

But I never understood how he could just take everything that was thrown at him, then walk away with a smile as though he had gained something. He had always been like that!

Well, not always.

There was once a time when he could talk back, defend himself and actually be of use. I hate to admit it, but it was usually me he was defending back then.

"Stop teasing my brother, or I'll get BOTH of you!" 

I never heard him say anything like that anymore.

* * *

_Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Kouji looked up from his pillow to where the sound of tiny footsteps came from._

_The room divider was pulled apart at the end, reveiling a wide-eyed, shaking Yuki Aiba. Kouji extended both his arms knowingly, letting his little brother run into them and pulled him into bed._

"_Onii-chan, I'm scared." The small, terrified voice from the mahogany-haired toddler whispered into his older brother's chest. Kouji began his regular night routine with Yuki, as he began to stroke his hair flat down to the base of his neck over and over again. _

_Soon, the little Yuki Aiba was breathing quietly against his brother's chest, sending shivers up Kouji's spine. He felt the tiny-balled fists holding onto his pajama top loosen, and soon his brother's head raised upward expectantly._

_Their noses were barely touching, two pairs of pooling green eyes staring deeply into each other. Kouji could feel Yukir melt into him as he leaned forward._

_Soon, their lips were touching and everything in their world was fine. Or atleast until the next morning._

_Their mother would often find Yuki's bed unnocupied, and Kouji's bed having Yuki nestled in to his older brother, hugging him like a teddy bear. Their mother would often just smile to herself and think it was cute. _

_But there was also a very thin line between cute cuddling and incest, and to their sad behalf, the two did not know the difference between_.

* * *

I gritted my teeth remember the harsh taunts I would get after school from classmates. They would watch Kouji and I walk to school hand in hand sometimes, both of us smiling away like nothing could stop us. 

Eventually, I was cornered after school and given the harsh truth. What I was doing was morally wrong, and if I didn't change, I would be reported to the school board directly.

It may not seem like much, but to a Grade 2 boy like myself it was a death sentence. Tears streamed from my eyes as I ran home, not bothering to take off my shoes. I ran right into Kouji and sobbed out the entire story.

Looking back, I would have been disgusted at how I acted. But nevertheless, we stopped acting "incesterous" as those students described it. Though it was then everything began falling apart at the seams.

Stupid Kouji began acting like a wimp, taking everything that came at him – whether it be insults or even compliments, he brushed it all aside like it was nothing. Looking at it now…

It seemed he had lost the person he protected, and now had nothing to protect at all.

We began bickering more, Kouji usually saying something completely dumb and me lashing back. Over the years, well, it built up to a point where I couldn't take it anymore.

It was then in middle school, we had gotten into a huge fight, and he had the nerve to bring up how we **used** to be.

I was so infuriated with him that I shoved him through the glass windowpane facing onto our backyard. It only took half a second before I realized what I did, and for some reason…

…I felt proud.

But until I took a second look, the entire scenario replayed itself years before. I had shoved Kouji down a flight of staires in rage, and I couldn't remember what happened after. All that I knew is that I was holding him and crying my appolagies.

He had kissed my forehead and told me to forget about it, that it was his fault I got him mad.

* * *

Now I lie in an unfamiliar bed, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling on the Ryvius. I had been in another fight with Blue. 

God, did that guy rub me the wrong way…

I closed my eyes as I heard someone walk by. It then fell silent; but then the footsteps continued again. No – wait, he was coming inside. I made sure to make myself look asleep.

The person shuffled around the room, paused for a second, then began making his way over towards my bed. They then stopped right above me, sighed, and began pulling up the covers to my chest. What did this person think he was, my freaking mother!

I snapped open my eyes to let him know I was awake. And then they darkened.

"Kouji."

My older brother's mouth tensed, yet he stayed calm and sat down on the rim of my bed. He was tense and nervous, I could tell. He balled his fists into the covers and his brow furrowed.

"Why did you get into a fight with Blue?" He asked slowly, chocolate eyes staring at the dark, clouded wall.

"None of your business!" I snapped. Did he have to know everything about what happened to me!

"It **IS** my business every time you get yourself hurt, what do you see in doing this!" He replied yelling, his torso turned to me and eyes flaming. What an ass!

"I told you!" My hand reached for his shoulder, "It's none of your **BUSINESS**!"

I yanked down, hoping to catch him offguard. Instead, heard the _pop_ of two buttons and down slid his shirt. His shoulder was completely bare.

My eyes stared at the jagged dark scar up and over his entire chest.

Then, on it's own, my body jerked away and I fell silent. I felt guilty, as memories flooded back into me that I'de rather keep stored away. Kouji grimaced; he seemed to remember too.

"Whatever," he hissed, and it felt like a dagger had been stabbed through my cavity. Such sharp jabs of pain as he walked away, pulling his shirt back over the scar and leaving it to hang loose. The pain began ebbing away slowly, but the sting still remained.

I just let him walk away again, with no damage done. Why was I the only one who was hurt?

_"I promise I'll never let ANYONE hurt you, Yuki!"_

I lied back down, my shoulder beginning to throb again. I hated it. I hated everything right now. Even myself.

_"Dad and mom are going to be splitting up… but I swear I'll never leave your side Yuki, ever."_

It dawned on me, as I now lied again by myself in bed, all the possibilites the relationship with my brother I could have taken, but never were. The knife in my cavity was slowly sliding downward through my gut now, slicing everything in it's path.

_  
"It's just a scratch, don't worry. There's been worse."_

It could have been less painful – it could have been healed. It could have been mended, but back then I didn't want it to. Now, not even the largest of bandaids could help fix it.

_  
"Yuki, please, just listen! Don't listen to what those boys have to say, what do they know about us?"_

I hate myself now. I could feel a tear slipping from the corner of my eye.

I never cried. Never.

_"Whatever happens to us Yuki…_

_Promise me we'll never be like mom and dad. I don't want to hurt you."_

_"I love you."_

Some damages can never be repaired. But just this once…

I wish it could have.

_"We'll always be together. Right, brother?"_

Owari


	2. Blue x Kouji

**Thinking of You**

By Drunken Shinigami

Blue x Kouji

I was a coward, and I hated to face it. Despite my entire "tough and silent" façade I put up to keep people from questioning me, people kept on seeing through my disguise and into who I really was.

Perticularily, Kouji Aiba.

My eyes narrowed and glared at the dark and unseen wall across from me, my sight skewed by the loose strands of blue hair tingling in front of my eyes. I was angry with myself, angry with everything.

I was now forced to hide myself in the unexplored hallways of the Ryvius, not even letting light hit my face to prove I existed. People had stopped searching for me long ago, but I feared if I showed my face, it would just be my undoing.

Not to mention completely pointless.

I wouldn't still be alive if it wasn't for Kouji, he had been helping me the entire time. I'de occasionally see him bringing me food. Like he was feeding a stray dog.

That's probably what I looked like to him, anyway.

The first place I had ran to once my upheavel had taken place had been the lift ship. I had hidden in the back room, figuring that not many people would come in here. But of course, when a misfunction in the Vital Guarder had happened, Kouji had to go into the room to fix it.

That's when I saw him again.

Again, because he had worked on the bridge as a hostage. Sacrificing himself so his brother could still continue working with the Vital Guarder. Persistant and opinionated, yet still afraid of the consequences of his words. He couldn't even fight back to prove his point was right.

For some reason or another, I took an unseen liking to him.

He reminded me of myself, as ironic as it seemed.

After the upheavel of my gang, it seemed my connection with everyone on the Ryvius, everyone who I had worked with, was cut off. Yet even by mistake, my link with him had opened up oncemore when he so unfortunatly found me, hiding like a coward on the lift ship.

He didn't say a word to anyone, or so what I am led to believe. If he had said anything, I would have been caught, after all.

My thoughts then strayed back to when I gave this brown-haired boy my most treasured keepsake; the one item that had held importance to me, to show I never took orders.

My gun. The gun I had won in a fist fight back on Hyperion when I was in one of the local gangs without my father's knowledge.

"_Take this. I'm very curious to how you'll use it."_

The boy struck my interest, I'll admit to that. He had extended a shaking hand towards mine, and I handed him my gun. He pocketed it quickly, almost terrified at his own actions. Or maybe it was because my fingers had brushed lightly against his.

I had gotten a quick shock out of it, anyway.

It was then our eyes met for a very long time. I could feel him digging around in the very depths of my soul, like he could see past my mask. The mask I had taken so long to put up. As for me, I saw a boy who was trying to hide his own feelings of guilt and pain behind a calm mask. Like he knew everything, yet was trying to forget everything.

I suspected it had something to do with his arrogant brother; the two of them were complete opposites. It was an amazement they came from the same bloodline even.

But those eyes, they had captured me there for a minute. Just letting me stare at him for a long time brought peace to myself; like knowing someone had the same track of mind as you – it made you feel less alienated.

Like someone could relate.

And so, with that being the last time I had seen Kouji, I now lie in this dark and damp hallway in the Ryvius, not knowing the time of day, or how long I had been out here. My body was aching from hiding, my stomach twisting into knots from the food it missed. I felt sick, like how a coward would feel.

It was then that my quick ears caught the fast clasps of footsteps heading down the hallway. I lifted myself from the floor up onto my legs soundlessly. I was prepared to run if necessary, but I had to make sure this was a friend or an enemy.

Hah, friend. I doubted it.

"Aires Blue? It's me, Kouji. If you're here, please come out. I have food."

The breath that had been held unoticed was let out, and my guard was let down. It took a second for me to be able to move my legs properly, and it was then I brought myself into the light.

Our eyes met once more, my harsh glare seemed to scare him so much that he almost dropped the food he held in his hands on a platter. How he had been able to smuggle it past everyone without getting mugged, I suppose I'll never know.

"…you didn't need to." I said smoothly, taking two more steps towards the chocolate-haired teen. I eyed the food hungrily, then flicked them upward so Kouji could give me it.

"Yes I did! You're human too, aren't you? Plus, you're starving, I can tell." His wavering voice fought back, his brows furrowing at my brush-off.

I smirked slighly, extending my hand toward the tray. He looked unsteadily at my hand, as though it would reach out and bite him. Nevertheless, he handed it to me, and our eyes caught each other's.

Our hands didn't touch, but I felt the spark once more.

The spark of something deeper than a relation.

Perhaps the spark…of a relationship.

-Owari


	3. Kouji x Ikumi

**Thinking of You**

By Drunken Shinigami

Ikumi x Kouji

So maybe we were complete opposites when it came to everything but our drive. Our drive to have fun and be able to agree on things that made sense only to us. Girls would shrivel their noses at our comments, but I truly didn't care. As long as you and I kept agreeing on things, we'd still be the best of friends.

Atleast, that's what I thought back then.

* * *

It's been a couple of months since the Ryvius incident, and it almost feels weird to see my mother in tears. It feels like I never knew her, or that I met her somewhere in the past but I can't quite recall.

Nevertheless, it felt strange.

The good part was that Yuki and I never fought over stupid things anymore. Sure, he'd grunt at me when I corrected him, but other than that things ran pretty smoothly.

Just like back then.

My eyes darkened as I smoothed the invisible wrinkles on my bedspread. I bet the thoughts and experiences from back then plagued him as well. But I knew as well as he did that we could never go back to doing that again – I had someone I wanted to protect now.

Or perhaps that was just me talking. I missed him and his laugh, the way he'd always brush things off lighly with a chuckle and how he'd just shrug his shoulders at me. Little things like that.

Ikumi Oze, what were you doing now?

* * *

Another bone-shattering hug from my mother, and I was out the door with my duffle bag slung over my shoulder. Her tears were still fresh in her eyes, making it feel like I was just coming home a few months ago again.

In a way, I was going home.

Being called out to the Ryvius again for another few months seemed crazy a few weeks ago, but once the entire situation was explained to me, I quickly realized that I was a vital plan in the survival of mankind. It had taken a few days to convince Yuki, but once mentioning Aires Blue, he jumped at the chance so he could get his "rematch".

Whatever that may be.

Somehow, we split up on the way there. I didn't bother trying to look for him. I knew he'd go there to the loading dock to find Blue, so there was no need to worry.

Another thing that plagued me was his interest in Blue.

His "relationship", however you may call it, was a sour one. But yet there was something that sparked Yuki every time he came within range of this man. He took to Aires Blue like a challenge, and treated him as a challenge.

A challenge… yes, that was what lied ahead of me now. I needed to tell Ikumi something that could possibly change the way we view each other forever.

* * *

"Hey, Kouji!"

It felt like déjà vu as I felt my childhood friend Aoi push me harshly into the train, my cry of surprise making her giggle. I craned my head around so I could properly scold her like a father would scold his child, but all she did at me was smile cheerily and wave.

I sighed in defeat. Maybe later.

"Are you excited?" She asked me once we found a seat.

My entire torso was leaning over my legs, so I had to strain a bit to look up at her. "A bit, yeah." I muttered.

I was scared, actually. Scared of what Ikumi might think. But I had to get this out before I could move on.

Yeah, "move on". What a laugh.

* * *

The entire train ride blurred into one memory – the memory of my first trip to outer space _officially_.

It was odd at first, but no sooner had I been swept off my feet by Ikumi Oze, who showed me the ropes of how everything worked. I was a bit slow to learn at first, but in a few days I was doing everything with ease.

_"Just takes practice is all… after that, it's like riding a bike! Or something else, too…"_

I had hit his shoulder when I heard his perverted refference in the last bit; he just laughed it off and gave me one of his charming smiles.

It made my stomach backflip into my backbone, that soaring feeling I only got from him. With Aoi, it was soft and fluttery, and didn't last long.

But now, I knew where I needed to go.

I needed to learn to give up on my childish wants, and focus more on my adult needs, as wrong as that sounds.

_"Hey, Kouji…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do you think you'll love anyone when you grow up?"_

"_I…really don't know. Probably, I guess. You?"_

"_I don't think so."_

"_Why not?" Concerned eyes flicked towards the amber pair that was casted downward._

"_Because the person I love will never love me back."_

What had he meant by that?

* * *

I was inside the Ryvius now, after splitting up with Aoi for a bit because she wanted to find Kozue. I nodded and she ran off, but not before quickly pecking me on the cheek and telling me I needed to see Ikumi, too.

Right, like I didn't know that already. She could be so blunt sometimes.

_"K-K-Kouji…"_

_Ikumi's body collapsed into my own, his head pressed up against my cavity. Heaving sobs, pooling eyes, hands gripping my pants. It was all so much for me._

_So I risked it. I wrapped my arms around him and smiled wryly._

_Amazingly, he hugged me back.

* * *

_

"Hey."

I didn't realize that my thoughts lead me to lean over the bridge overlooking the busy hallways of the Ryvius.

The soft, powerful voice shook me from my thoughts, and caused me to look up and over my shoulder. And I smiled.

There stood Ikumi Oze.

"Ah, Ikumi." I said nervously. His eyes were still the same, smiling at me as usual. He smiled a bit at me. I quickly noted that his hair had grown out since I last saw him – he didn't bother to tie it up too.

"It's been some time, and I never got a chance to properly thank you." He said, almost in a whisper. My heart began beating faster.

"Y-Yeah, well… you don't need to. It's alright." I smiled, but then I looked at his face again. He looked a bit perplexed.

"I… how's your arm." He took two steps over to me, removed his right arm from his jacket pocket, and touched the wounded arm. I winced.

"It's doing fine." I whispered back, raising my green eyes to his amber. They connected, and we stared at each other for a long time.

It was that connection – that _spark_ that went off in my stomach whenever he looked at me that made my relationship with him so interesting. It made me want to do something, to _be_ someone. Just like he was.

It took a while, but eventually Ikumi broke the silence. "Listen, tell no one I did this, alright?"

"Huh!" I was pulled forward off the banaster by a strong hand.

And he kissed me.

He kissed me soundlessly, his hand gripping my injured shoulder and his other on the banister of the bridge. His mouth moved skillfully over my own, a soft moan escaping those parted lips. I couldn't help but moan back, my trapped hand lighly gripping his mustard-coloured jacket.

It was too much for me.

I was left speechless.

Ikumi pulled away quickly, eyes casted downward as though he was ashamed. "I-I'm sorry… but it was something… I was meaning to give to you for a _long_ time."

My eyes began flickering.

A soft, bubbly feeling began forming in my stomach.

Before I knew it, I was laughing.

I felt joyful, relieved. He felt the same way too!

Ikumi gave me a perplexed look and let go of my shoulder.

"Did… I do something wrong?" He said.

"N-No… just that I was going to do the same thing too." I laughed.

We stared at each other for a bit. Then, we both started laughing.

* * *

"I suppose we'll both be going our separate ways now, right?"

"Yeah."

We still stood on the bridge, our eyes locked together and our hands ghosting over each other's. I think truly, we both didn't want to let go. But we both had two people we needed to protect.

Sadly, those two people weren't each other.

"Listen, just stay happy, alright? If anything goes wrong, you're welcome wherever I am." Ikumi whispered, smiling.

"Same goes for me, too." I responded back softly, my own smile breaking out over my face.

"Well, this is goodbye then." The gray-haired teen said; he almost sounded like he wanted to cry.

He leaned over and kissed my cheek, and I leaned into Ikumi's embrace, my hands circling around his back. I could hear him in my ear as he bowed his head down into the junction of my neck.

He was crying.

I kissed his ear and nipped it, and I could hear his surprised gasp.

We pulled apart slowly. Then, without another word to each other, we turned away. We went in opposite directions, to wheverver that may take us.

I couldn't help it. I felt like crying.

* * *

_Was it possible we could have been together? Could it have happened?_

_We both care so much for each other… but the people we need to protect need us more than the bond between us._

_Ikumi Oze, I love you._

_Please by happy._

_Even if that person you're with isn't me, love them._

_I can feel a tear slipping from my eyes. Now I'm cyring so hard I can't stop._

_I wish._

_Just one, just one wish._

_That the person you love…_

…_Could have been me._

_Kouji Aiba._

-Owari

(Author Note: Doesn't the entire ending sound like Brokeback Mountain, or is this just me talking? XP)


	4. Blue x Yuki

**Thinking of You  
**By Drunken Shinigami

Blue x Yuki

Our actions may be different, but our thoughts the same.

I can't recall how many times I've cursed your name.

But now I'm screaming it to myself. Every word coming from my mouth being punctuated by a harsh punch that slams into the side of your face. I curse your name, I curse your very existance.

Someone who _has_ something, but is not willing to accept it.

Someone who can talk to people easily without being shunned, no matter what they say.

I hate him, I hate him, I want him, I need him.

I need you, Yuki Aiba.

But I know you don't need me.

* * *

Aires Blue. Just the sound of his name makes me wrinkle my nose and want to throw up.

He acts as though he's more important than everyone else, acts as if he owns everyone that he touched. It really rubbed me the wrong way when I first met him, but now I'm not so sure.

My footsteps are brisk as I approach the loading dock for the shuttle that will take us to the new Liebe. I know Kouji went on the shuttle before me, and that I really couldn't care less about.

I was too busy thinking about _him_.

My first impression of the guy was that he was an ass with a deficiency that caused him to naturally put himself above others. But when I found out his dad was the Minister of Hyperion, a moon of Saturn, it suddenly made sense.

He was out to prove to someone that he was better than what they thought, just like I was doing.

And… I guess with that, we connected on a field only known to us.

Quite frankly, it scared me.

* * *

The shuttle heading for the space port was packed with people, some of them new students going to the new Liebe, others were returning back from vacations.

Yuki Aiba was slumped into a corner, his luggage on the overhead rack above and currently being pestered senseless by dedicated fangirls.

"This will be great, don't you think?" One brunette said, giving the boy a dazzling smile over her shoulder. Yuki grunted, closing his eyes and tightened his fists.

Why did, wherever he go, all the girls imaginable follow him? He never truly knew why.

The girl, noticing his discomfort, sighed to herself and shifted away from him.

_Good._ He thought dryly.

When he got to the space port for the Liebe and the launching of the Ryvius, he was suddenly flooded with even more fangirls than on the train. He felt like kicking every single one of them out of anger, but instead he opted to walk around them and glare harshly.

He wanted his rematch with Aires, no matter the cost.

* * *

"_You sure you'll be alright on the bridge alone, Aires?"_

_A simple look from the blue-haired man and Fu nodded, shoving everyone else along. The bridge crew filed out talking avidly to each other, happy to finally have a break. One last look back from Juli, and the door shut with a quick whisp._

_Yuki grunted, squirming around in the binding tieing his arms flat to his back._

"_Stop trying, you won't break free."_

_That snapped him. Harsh green eyes snapped open and met with a dark pair of onyx in a violent battle._

"_What's your problem! You act all high and mighty, yet you never really DO anything to deserve it!"_

"…_You're right."_

_The mahogany-haired teen took a sharp intake of air, his eyes widening suddenly. He stopped fidgetting on the ground._

"…_What did you say?" He sounded more in awe than anything, yet he kept his stern glare in place._

"_I said you're right." Aires answered simply, giving a sideways glance to the mahongany-haired teen before closing his eyes._

"_I don't get you." Yuki spat._

_No answer was returned._

* * *

After thinking it over for the six months since I left the Ryvius, it made sense to me now.

Everything Aires did, everything he received up until now, would never impress his father. Now, with his death due to Hyperion's explosion, he could never prove to him that he was worth something to him.

That he was someone.

I bit my lip, my duffle bag slung over my shoulder swaying due to my harsh strides. I could hear Cullen whom I had met up with a while ago, sigh irritably and mutter something about my attitude problem.

I didn't really care right now. All I wanted was our rematch.

* * *

(Blue)

The dark hallways were illuminated. Everything that was once dark in these hallways were now being covered in a blanket of light, reveilled to the world what they truly were.

That also includes myself.

Over the six months after the Ryvius incident, I've been drifting. I went down to Earth for a bit, curious as to see what was there and the other half vaughly wondering if I would meet up ironicly with Yuki Aiba.

That boy… so much the same, yet so different from myself. He interested me in a way no one else had.

I heard yells down the hallway, and my eyes snapped wide open.

It was him, Yuki Aiba.

I stood up from the little shadows I could find, my back resting against the wall. My heart began beating fasted.

Why was I nervous?

_It's because you're a coward._

I strained my ears to listen to the yells, trying to make out words from the echoes that bounced off the metalic walls.

"_Well, whatever. Do you want me to wait here?"_

"_Yeah."_

I knew I was eventually going to be found, so I straightened my back and lowered my hands to my side. If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that Yuki Aiba would throw a punch at me.

I smirked. He was so predictable sometimes.

The pacing footsteps drew closer to where I was hiding, and then, a few seconds later he came into my view. My eyes narrowed, he still wore the same outfit he did on the Ryvius six months ago, his lean form silhouetted against the bright light.

He turned his head side to side, then looked over his shoulder. And that was when he spotted me.

My body tensed, waiting for him to strike me at any second.

Instead, he dropped his duffle bag on the floor softly and left it there. Hands in his pockets, he walked over to me, not breaking his stern gaze he always wore.

I felt my eyes widen, my teeth beginning to grit together. I was trapped, and I sure as hell didn't like it.

He stopped a meter away from me, then smirked, "Don't you like being cornered?"

"Don't underestimate me."

"Whoever said I was?" He replied smoothly, eyes still looking into mine. He was reading me like a book, every few seconds flipping a page and knowing more about me. The REAL me.

"You're the worst type of coward, you know that?" He went on, "You have to hide every time something doesn't go your way."

"And you take everything for granted."

He looked a bit taken back from what I said. My eyes hardened, "You have a brother who cares, and a family." My voice became sharp, cutting through the tension like a knife.

"I don't. They all died."

Yuki Aiba… he looked pretty stressed now. How could he respond after he learned his lesson about the precious meaning of life? He had saved his brother, after all. That should be enough proof.

After a few more seconds of silence, he opened his eyes to look at me again, "Did you even _consider_ them your family, because the way you talk about them, they sure don't sound like one."

I felt a part of me snap inside, realizing he was right. My fist was raised, and he was ready. His smaller, tanned hand blocked my punch and I felt myself cry out in agony.

I cried out over everything. Everything I lost, everything I could've gained, but never tried to.

We continued to fight, taking it out into the middle of the soundless hallway. My fists were being blocked and his attacks kept slipping through my defense.

Why was this happening?

His foot caught me in the back of my right knee, and I collapsed, my hand shooting out and grabbing his collar, and then he smirked. We fell onto each other painfully.

Yuki was sitting on my lap, leaving my legs useless. Both my hands were pinned over my head; he smirked at his handywork.

"Looks like I won."

My face remained emotionless, but inside I felt a hole beginning to form. It was eating me away inside, knawing away at my soul.

Then I realized: I had attacked the same way Yuki did when we first met – out of anger and inner pain. Back then, I had been able to supress the feeling of guilt when my father was still alive.

Over the months, we had reversed our rolls.

My eyes were beginning to sting from holding his triumphant look for so long. Tears were beginning to form at the corners of my eyes.

I didn't know if that was because of emotion or of not blinking.

"You're weak," Yuki pointed out sharply, yet his voice had a soft edge to it. Like he realized too what had happened between our rolls. "This won't count, I want to fight you when you're a challenge."

I never answered, the power of speech had left me once he had pinned me down. All I could manage was to blink, and he understood.

Slowly, he loosened his grip on my wrists and slid off my lap as discreetly as possible. I swore I caught his face tingling with red once he realized the position we had been in.

Standing up to his full height, all I could manage was to sit up properly. I felt so weak.

"You're a pain," he said dryly, extending a hand in front of my face, waving it around for a few seconds.

Graciously, I accepted it and hoisted my lanky form up beside him. He quickly retracted his hand back into his pocket, and coughed.

"Don't forget about our fight." He said, staring at the wall.

He walked over to where he left his duffle bag, picked it up, and began walking away, leaving me to bask in the light. He was returning to his supposed 'girlfriend', I guessed. I tighted my hands into fists, my back facing towards his destination.

"Thank you." I said, closing my eyes and walking in the opposite direction.

Without my knowledge, he had smiled.

-Owari

* * *

(Author Note: This was a bit OOC, but I really wanted to get this idea out before it ran away on me. -swats plot bunny back into the pen- Now stay there, young ones!) 


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